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February 27 I missed the Biggest Loser tonight thanks to political TV, darn it :(HELEN:
Dang it. I was expecting to watch The Biggest Loser last night and when I looked for it, it wasn't on the guide. It had been taken off to cover the local coverage of the preparations for the big debate in Cleveland between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama (we're in the Cleveland/Akron viewing area). My husband said it was probably not on this week anywhere, but from the subject lines of the email I have sitting in my inbox from the Biggest Loser yahoo group I see that it WAS on, so it was just our viewing area that didn't have it on I guess :( Darned political interruptions anyway...grrrr Does anyone know if it's online to watch anywhere? That makes me so mad A Snow Day in Ohio HELEN:
Ugh. I'm SO tired and my little boy Evan has decided this is a good night to get up and play, so he's up running around all full of energy.It's going to be a long late night/early morning!
Today we got blasted with a winter storm, so Evan had a snow day from school, but my husband Greg still had to go to dialysis (not something they can just cancel...).
I'd give myself a C for the day. Got lots of water in, stayed within my points range (I think) but could have made healthier choices, and I did not work out. I was planning to go to the gym tomorrow, but can't now, unfortunately. Originally, Greg was going out of town to the doctor in his truck and I was going to go to the gym early with the car and get home in time to get Evan off the school van, but the heater went out in Greg's truck and I have to let him use the car to go to the doctor and it's too darned cold to drive to the gym without heat, but also without a way to keep the windshield from fogging up. The winter storm advisory ends here in a little over an hour and I'm hoping it's all done.
I ALMOST got a really good workout in by shoveling snow. The weirdest thing...when I WANTED to shovel snow to get exercise it didn't work out that way :) I had shoveled a little path for the dog to do his business and also shoveled the walk leading from the driveway to the front door. I had just started shoveling the driveway when a good Samaritan pulled up and motioned for me to get out of the way. It was a young man in a pickup truck with a snow plow on the front. I got out of the way and he took his time plowing our driveway thoroughly and the only conversation we had was when he rolled down his window and asked if our driveway was double wide or if it curved into a single width or not. He finished the job and I walked toward the truck expecting him to ask me to pay him something. Instead he waved at me and just left. I have no idea who this person was, but as much as I wanted the exercise, I'm seeing it as a God thing because I really shouldn't have been shoveling snow with this hernia anyway. I'm sure a shovelfull of snow weighs much more than the 10 pounds I'm restricted to lifting. It's really weird, because just two houses down there was an older man shoveling his driveway out too and the guy in the truck/plow never stopped to help him or ask if he wanted help, but he did me.
But really...it was odd. I didn't know the guy from Adam and he never asked if I wanted his help, he just did it and never asked for a dime. I really was not supposed to be shoveling snow anyway, so I'm seeing it as a God moment ;) I wasn't looking out for myself enough, so God did it for me lol February 26 Doctor appointment yesterday and my new video diary I had an appointment with my primary care doctor yesterday. I hadn't told him I was going to be having surgery in April and I wanted to go over it all with him to see if he had any concerns.
After I told him that the CAT scan shows my bowel was caught up in the hernia, he said he agreed it was a necessary surgery. Then I told him about the panniculectomy and he said he agreed that it would be a great idea. So then he called my surgeon in Akron and got them to fax a copy of my labs and tests and then came back in the office to me again. He said he was concerned about the EKG from the surgeon a few months ago and wanted to repeat it to see if there was any change, so he did that in the office. This time my EKG results were normal and fine. He showed me the EKG results form the surgeon's office and said it was almost like it was another persons and not mine because the EKG I had done brefore the surgeon ordered it was identical to yesterdays. The one from the surgeon had a few peaks on it (which he pointed out) and said it was a marker they looked for with people who had been on medication to control their heart rates, but that I was not on any medication that would do that. He said the only other explanation is that I had been sick or perhaps it was from all the exercise I'm doing. So now I'm wondering if they got my EKG results mixed up with someone elses of it maybe the infection I had in my tooth was working on me then and changed it . I don't know. I'm just glad it's fine now.
He did a Hemoglobin A1C test while I was there as well and the results of that were perfect. He said it couldn't be any better.
My lab work he reviewed showed my cholesterol is just fine too. He took my blood pressure and it was perfectly normal. He said he has absolutely no concerns about me having the surgery and scheduled me to see him again shortly after the surgery. The only thing I forgot to ask him about was the constant ringing in my ears. I can't believe I forgot to talk to him about that, but my mind was on the weight loss issues.
Oh, about that. I talked to him about all the efforts I've been putting into trying to lose weight before my surgery and told him all I'd been doing the past few months. He said he thinks I messed up my metabolism when the nutritionist had me on the 1000 calorie diet for that time and that he wanted me to keep doing what I am now and not change anything because it would just take a while to get the losses going again and I just had to wait it out.
Also, I got out my webcam last night and started keeping a video diary for our site. I was nervous and the lighting was bad, so hopefully I'll get the lighting and angle of the camera aligned better next time, but at least my intro is up now. Kelley is planning on doing one too so I'll get that up on the site when she sends it to me.
I'm really looking forward to tonight's show!
February 24 Still camping out on this looooong plateau and taking inventoryHelen:
So....after literally busting my behind at the gym last week and staying on track with my food and exercise I'm still camping out on the longest plateau in my weight loss history....sigh. I promise I really AM working SOOO hard on this! Ok, I did lost .4 (point four) pound last week from 288.4 to 288.0, but that was back up from Tuesday when I saw 287, so it's hard to be excited about an overall .4 loss for the week. But like last week, I'm down some inches again, so I guess I'm doing SOMETHING right.
Anyway...
I spent last night and today licking my wounds and taking inventory and trying to figure out what the heck is going on with my body and this stubborn LONG plateau I'm on and what my plan of attack is this time. At first I was tempted to go back to the 1000 calorie (or slightly higher 1200) a day diet. But I sat down, thought about it all a lot and I realized that I did raise my calories last week and I did not have a gain. I'd think if my body didn't need the extra calories, it would have given me a gain instead of a near-maintain. So this week I'm going to keep my calories/points high, use the WW points plan and do the Wendie plan (I just uploaded to the files section) which is basically alternating your days between higher and lower points with a much higher point day halfway through. Diana, the list owner of the FOWW (Friends of Weight Watchers) yahoo list asked me to try it with her and I figured I'd see if that helps, so that's my plan. It works out to pretty close to the calorie amount I gave myself last week once I work in activity points (part of the calories I burn through exercise). It's averages out to not going below 1550 calories and then it's like this: on low point days, I eat all my activity points, on high point days I earn four or more points I eat half of my activity points and on the super high day I eat no activity points, so the way I've been working out, it probably will get to close to 2000 calories on my heavy workout days and between 1550 and 1700 on the low point days, so it's still a lot higher calories than I'd been doing up till last week. The basic premise is the alternating low and high calorie days may kick your metabolism into revving up again. It's one of the few things I haven't tried yet this time around, so what the heck... (I tried it in 2005 and it didn't work, but I didn't have a plateau last this long then either). Today I give myself a C day. Lots of water, but no workout and my eating was higher calories than normal because I was considering using today as my super high point day until I worked the Wendie plan's rhythm out and realized I have to have my super high point day on Wednesday so that I can have high point days on Monday, Wednesday and Friday (the days I work out hard at the gym) and the lower point days on the days in between when I work out a lot less at home. So today was a reflective day for the most part. I'm planning tomorrow as a low point day and hit the gym early on Monday and have a high point day as we have to go to my hometown of (about an hour away) for me to see my primary care doctor to discuss my upcoming surgeries in April. I want to talk to him about this incessant ringing in my ears that's driving me nuts too, as well as the absess I had/have. I'm still running a low grade fever so he may change the antibiotic. I'm hoping the ringing in my ears is from that and will go away when the infection is gone, but who knows. I'm looking forward to that appointment. I REALLY love my primary care doctor and he doesn't know about my upcoming surgeries yet. I also want to talk to him about my EKG results the surgeon told me shows my heart rate was slightly on the low side and see if he has any concerns about it. February 22 Never been so happy to have a root canal I got in to the oral surgeon yesterday thanks to them having a cancellation. Ordinarily it wouldn't have been till April, so the Lord was definitely watching out for me :) I was so nervous going in that he would say I needed to have both the eye tooth and the tooth behind it pulled. Thankfully he recommended a root canal for the eye tooth to save it (whew!) so he did that all the way, taking 3 hours. I go back on April 10th to have the molar behind it pulled and the eye tooth temporary filling removed and a permanent one put in. That's only six days before my hernia repair and panniculectomy surgeries so I'm a little nervous about it being so close.
Hopefully the infection from the absess will be gone soon. This dentiset said I only have an absess on the eye tooth, and not the one behind it like the first dentist though, but the one behind it needs extracted as it's crooked and already loose anyway. So I'm still on the penicillin and working to get rid of the infection.
I skipped the gym yesterday as the root canal left me in a lot of pain, but I went today and did a full workout that I'd planned for yesterday. I burned 1200 calories according to my heart rate monitor. I walked for a mile, did the stationary bike for 30 minutes, 30 minutes on the rowing machine, 30 minutes on the eliptical and swam half a mile (I usually do a full mile, but had to get home to get my son off the school bus).
I upped my calories all week, worked out hard and am hoping for a good weigh in tomorrow (please oh please Lord).
I hope everyone here is having a great week!
Helen Cheating is Allowed, NOT!KELLEY:
February 20, 2008 Cheating is Allowed, NOT! This blog entry springs from an incident that happened in water aerobics yesterday. This class is conducted in the format that you have your own area of the pool and are told to do a move down and back. This is unlike my Wednesday night class where the instructor and you as the student do a specified move for a certain amount of time. In the Monday and Tuesday class, you can get ahead of the other students and be on another move, that the instructor has specified, while others are finishing the first one. It is a good workout but at times very unorganized. Last night we had several new people and when on was being slow she told them cheating is allowed. In other words, you do not have to do the laps completely so you can be caught up with everyone else. She said it several times during the 45 minutes. I am usually behind myself, as I go in deeper water per lap than she does and the other regular members do. I go to where I can just touch and they stop 35 – 40 feet earlier. The cheating is allowed started me to thinking last night. To get to the point where we are overweight or obese we have cheated ourselves in more ways than one. In some cases, like mine, I cheated myself out of my health. My type 2 diabetes was not preordained I brought it on myself. Yes, I am doing something about it now to reverse it but what I would give to never had to deal with it. We cheated ourselves out of activities we might have enjoyed because we were too embarrassed by our weight to want to be seen. An example is going to the gym. Before I started this weight loss journey you would never have saw me in the gym, as I was so out of shape and unfit. The typical gym rat fits the profile of what the public considers the ideal body and that was not me. Now I will go with the rest of them and am not embarrassed to be seen in a swimsuit, as I would have been before. We might have cheated ourselves out of good friends, as we never tried to get to know people. Never made the first move as we were of the mentality no one wants fat friends. Then some people do, as being with fat folks makes them look even better. Therefore, we get used as a pawn in their little games and become their false friends. I will continue not cheating myself out of anything I want to do or accomplish. Becoming who I need to be and what God intended for me to be is the most important thing to me. In my book, cheating is a dirty word from now on! February 19 Apology to my Blogging Buddies Thanks so much for all the support and encouragement all of you have given who post comments to my blogs :) I apologize for not being more active in replying to comments and posting comments on others' blogs. My laptop is running SOOO slow and I've run numerous diagnostics and can't figure out why, and when I get on Live Spaces it takes forever for a page to load for some reason.
I'm starting to think it's my ISP because when I run a program offline it runs just fine, but anything internet related hogs a ton of memory or something and it takes so long to do anything on here, especially on Live Spaces. I'm guessing with all the activity on Live Spaces with the Biggest Loser Million Pounds Match Up going on that it's just overloaded or something.
Also, I'm a list owner of a yahoo support group for people who have at least 100 pounds to lose (or have at one time) called Challenged to Change and that takes a lot of my online time to moderate the list and do all the admin. stuff there as well as try to reply to everyone's posts. I'll try to do better here as we really need each other on this journey we're on! I'm really thankful for the Biggest Loser and the motivation it offers us all and for all of you here as well. I know I'm definitely going to be keeping this site going long past the time the Million Pounds Match Up is over.
I 'll try to do better :) I'd love to make some new friends here!
Hugs
Helen Possible reasons for my plateau / dental issues and not eating enough! I've had a killer toothache for a while now and have been running a low grade fever on and off for a few months (thinking it was just a stubborn virus). I finally got in to the dentist yesterday for an evalutation and they took two x-rays. Turns out I have two absessed teeth :( They gave me a prescription for Penicillin (which I started on last night) and I have an appointment tomorrow morning to see an oral surgeon for a full workup and see if I can have root canal therapy on those teeth or if I have to have them pulled and given a partial. I really expect to have one of them pulled and I'm hoping hoping that the one closest to the front can have the root canal.
But the worst part of it is that something has to be done asap or I can't have my hernia repair and panniculectomy surgeries that are scheduled in April as they won't operate when you have any kind of infection like that. To say I'm freaking out a little is to put it mildly :( But actually, I'm fortunate because when I first called the ora surgeon's office this morning, they told me they were scheduling in April now and that would have kept me from having my April surgeries for sure. I was upset on the phone after hearing that and the receptionist sighed and hesitantly flipped through the appointment book and said "wait...I have a cancellatoin tomorrow morning, can you come then?" So obviously I said yes.
A few friends of mine from my support groups suggested that perhaps this weight loss plateau has been persisting the past few months because my body is in defense mode while trying to fight off the infection. I wonder if that's possible?
Anyway...another issue is that after hearing from a few people on my support groups that have been successful at losing a lot of weight, I've come to realize that I haven't been eating enough calories, especially in light of the intense workouts I've been getting in. So this week I'm raising my calories while still working out hard at the gym and swimming and combining that with being on the Penicillin and getting dental attention tomorrow, maybe the scale will start budging again.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around eating more to lose weight, but I'm going to give it a try this week. I did a little research in first The Biggest Loser book and my Weight Watchers materials and they both line up to say I should be eating more calories than I am, so who am I to argue with their success? :)
I refuse to give up this time around though! I've been on program (most of the time) for over a year this time and have come way too far to give up now. Say some prayers for me if you will. Please??!! :)
Helen Plateaus and other ramblingsKELLEY: February 18, 2008 Plateaus and other ramblings I have stayed the same for the last three weeks but at least the scale is not going in the other direction. I am going to try eating 1/2 to 3/4 of my activity points this week and see if with increased activity (to 6 hours a week +) that maybe I can bust out of this plateau . I just have to remember that this is a long journey without an end as even when I reach goal I have to be concerned about what I eat and exercise for the rest of my life. I have had two victories this week of the non-scale variety – reducing my Glucophage by half and putting on a 14/16 blouse I had bought months ago as an incentive and it fit! Wore it to work on Friday. I have almost filled my mp3 player up with six gigs of music. I am going to use it on Fridays when I go to the gym and walk or use the cardio equipment. It is going to be a day for whatever grabs my fancy. No set scheduled activity other than showing up at the gym right after work. I have an appointment on Feb 26th to get contacts. I had them in the past and really miss the difference in vision with them versus glasses. With good goggles, I can wear them in the pool and actually see where I am going! I will still have to wear reading glasses when I am on the computer to compensate for the fact that bifocal contacts are not available. But that is okay a small price to pay for seeing freely. I got my 20 lb charm for TOPS on Thursday night. I started there mid August as another means of support. I really enjoy the meetings and I was made contest coordinator, as up until the point I joined they never had anyone that wanted to plan future contests and be responsible for coordinating ongoing ones. I keep a contest always going. Right now, we have two. One will not be over until the first of December. It is a yearlong contest and everyone seems to be having fun with it. I have had several smart comments about my new haircut from coworkers that would love for my new life plan to go by the wayside. They always say something no matter what I do good for myself. One needs to lose weight and says every few days she is going to do it but just continues with her old habits. It is like I shouldn't be bettering myself but oh well! I can't be responsible for her choices only mine and I know I am doing what is right for myself at every turn. Till tomorrow! February 16 Upping my calories (and nervous about it), combining BL with the WW points method that worked well last yearHELEN: Ok, I dug out my Biggest Loser book (the weight loss program one...I think the first book) and looked to see what it said about how many calories you should eat for weight loss. On page 30 it says this: In calculating calories for weight loss, some formulas can get pretty elaborate, requiring you to do a lot of math. Not ours. We have a simple formula for you, put together by The Biggest Loser doctors and nutritionists. Grab your calculator; here's the arithmetic: Your present weight x 7 = Your daily caloric needs for weight loss If you don't like doing math, the chart below gives you an idea of how many calories you need, depending on your current weight: 150: 1,050 160: 1,120 170: 1,190 180: 1,260 190: 1,330 200: 1,400 210: 1,470 220: 1,540 230: 1,610 240: 1,680 250: 1,750 260: 1,820 270: 1,890 280: 1,960 290: 2,030 300: 2,100 If you weigh more than 300 pounds, start by eating 2,100 calories a day. If you weigh less than 150 pounds, plan to eat around 1,050 calories a day. page 37: For every one pound of fat you lose, you decrease the number of calories you expend each day by about 10.That's roughly the number of calories that were required to keep that fat at body temperature, move it around, and support its metabolic needs. So when you shed 10 pounds of fat, you will be burning up about 100 fewer calories each day than you did when you weighed more. If you want to keep losing weight, you either have to eat fewer calories, exercise more or do both. Unless you readjust your calories or your exercise, you'll reach equilibrium, or you may even start to gain weight. And that's NOT an option! When it's time to reduce your calories, there are four easy, near automatic ways to do so. 1. Cut your calories from your optional 200 calorie budget, 2. Replace your whole grain servings with vegetables, 3. Choose lower calorie protein foods such as low-fat dairy, egg whites, and soy; 4. Reduce your fruit servings in favor of more vegetables. Just don't get discouraged! It's highly unlikely that your weight will climb on this plan because the Biggest Loser diet keeps your calories, carbs, and fat in check. (By the way, the Biggest Loser Diet is a 4-3-2-1 Pyramid of at least 4 servings of fruits and vegetables, 3 protein servings a day, 2 whole grain servings a day, and 200 extra calories and you add to or take away from each number of servings depending on your caloric needs. You just have to keep it all in balance) It doesn't factor in exercise into the calories-in formula -------------------------------- Ok, so if I compare that with Weight Watchers (which worked well winter through summer last year till I stalled in the fall), here's what WW says I should have for people my age, height, sex, and activity level (not including exercise) in the 280s weight range, eat 33 points a day (33 points x about 50 calories a point = 1650 adding in the 35 extra points a week they give you, the math is: 1650 calories a day x 7 days = 11,550 35 extra points per week = 35 x about 50 calories a point = 1750 calories a week 11,550 + 1,750 = 13,300 calories per week So I take 13,300 and divide it by 7 to give me 1900 calories a day So that's just to lose weight without factoring in exercise. Then you can use your activity points (at 1 point equaling 100 calories burnt) to either eat extra calories or not depending on how your body reacts to eating them or not eating them. So comparing the two plans, as I weigh 288: BL: 288 x 7 = 2,016 WW: about 1900 So basically, WW lines right up with the Biggest Loser plan (keeping in mind that one WW point is "about" 50 calories). And as BL doesn't have you adjust your calorie intake depending on your exercise output, and I didn't factor in WW's activity points (since BL didn't), the caloric intake is about the same. So in using the WW plan, I'd either choose to use ONLY my extra 35 points per week OR some of my activity points depending on how my body reacts to either way. But either way, my base calorie intake would be between 1900-2000. I guess I'm still having a tough time wrapping my mind around eating that much to lose weight, but WW worked last year when I was eating all my daily points, about 1/3 of my actiivty points and having some of my extra 35 towards a high point day on Saturdays. So I guess I'll go back to that and see how it goes. It does make sense in the long run as on Wednesday I ate about 1800 calories and burned 1000 calories at the gym that day, so I only had a total of 800 calorie intake overall for the day. So here's what I'm going to try: Eat all my daily points (about 1650 calories) + 1/2 my activity points every day through the week (which will vary depending on how many calories I've burned according to my heart rate monitor, but would be around 1900 to 2000 calorie intake total for the day I'd guess on average). Then about half my extra 35 points added to my daily points for a high point day on Saturday as that seemed to work well last winter and spring and summer till I started stalling in the fall. I'm going to try that effective tomorrow through Thursday and see how it goes... Friday for HelenHELEN: Friday for Helen Well I think you all know how my day went. I'm working on an attitude adjustment though. I'm still frustrated, but not in despair about it like I was close to earlier. I truly appreciate your encouragement. I'm not giving up. It's been a super frustrating, depressing day, but if I gave up I'd have only myself to blame. If I do my best and the scale stays stuck then at least I can know I did my best and I'll have that much less to feel bad about. One day at a time I'll learn to not let this get to me. One day at a time my body will adjust to all the changes and one day at a time I'll become a better example for overweight people to show them that it can be done with a little patience and a lot of prayer for strength :) I did measure myself and am down in inches, so I must be doing something right with my exercise, so it must be in the food department Bad week after giving it my all :(HELEN: Last week: 287 This week: 288.4 + 1.4 Needless to say, after busting my butt all week at the gym and doing my very best with eating keeping my calories between 1400 and 1800 a day and getting in all my water, I'm more than a little frustrated. I worked out VERY hard four days this week at the gym. Wednesday alone I burned 1000 calories according to my heart rate monitor. I have NO clue where to go from here... I have a very bad attitude at the moment. I'm sure it'll pass and I'll be happy, determined Helen again, but right now I want to pick up the scale and pitch it as far as I can. My ONLY saving grace today is that I measured myself and I am down in inches.- ¾ inch in my waist, ¼ inch in my hips, ½ inch from my right arm and a whole inch from my right thigh since I measured two weeks ago.. Had I not had that progress I probably would just say screw it. In the last six months I only have 10 pounds of lasting weight loss L I did SO great in the winter and spring last year and when cold weather hit, the great weight losses stopped. Sorry about my bad attitude right now...but I need to express myself honestly... My goals for this coming week: I have no clue at this point L The only thing that crosses my mind right now (aside from just giving up or starving myself) is to raise my calories up and eat several small meals a day instead of three regular sized meals and a snack. I've done everything I can think of otherwise. But again, my attitude is in the crapper at the moment and I'll catch back up with you all when I've given myself an attitude adjustment. February 14 NSV, Happy Dance, New Haircut, and Respecting YourselfKELLEY: February 14, 2007 NSV, Happy Dance, New Haircut, and Respecting Yourself The scale has not cooperated for the last two weeks, have been maintaining. I have not been going in the opposite direction and that is a good thing. I do have a non-scale victory and am doing a happy dance over it! I was having blood sugar lows at night just 2 or 3 hours after eating a four carb serving meal. I decided to experiment and instead of taking 2 500 mg Glucophage XR with my evening meal to take only one. That solved my problem! My sugars are normal at bedtime and low normal on arising in the morning. Monday, I went to Curves at lunch and was going to water aerobics after work. After leaving work, I found my sugar was low so I drank 12 ounces of skim milk and ate a banana to get the levels up enough to be able to exercise. Well, it would only come up to 80. 70-110 is normal and there was no way I could put in an hour of water aerobics without it being low afterwards or midway through with that starting blood sugar so I went home. I decided to do the same with the Glucophage in the morning (only take 1 pill). I did bring an extra one to work to take just in case I needed it BUT the experiment was a success and all week I have halved my dosage. My sugars have been normal except right after eating. They get back to normal 2 hours after a meal just as the endocrinologist wants. Therefore, I am doing a happy dance that my body is handling the sugar better and I am on my way to being diabetes medicine free! A coworker said since I have been doing so well losing weight and being concerned with my health and eating that I needed a new haircut to celebrate the new me! I had told her I had an appointment this afternoon after work so she helped me find a new style in one of the magazines. Therefore, I am doing the daring thing and changing styles after probably 5 years! She is right I am a new person, a very different person from this time last year and a new haircut is just what I need to complete the new image! Yes, I still have 90 pounds to go but it is just putting one foot in front of the other and seeing the goal get closer and closer. Would have said finish line but this journey is never finished. If you stop upon reaching goal, you will be right where you started from sometimes in the future. It is a daily task you have to tackle! I have some much respect and love for myself that was not here 12 months ago. As Jillian has said on her radio show if you think more of yourself so will others and it have been evidenced in my relationships with co-workers. Do not get me wrong my relationships were not bad or strained with them but they are different now. I think they see I respect and care for myself and they respect and care for me more in return. Got this Italian proverb in my email and it says it all: Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. No matter our economic class or social status in life, we are all just as important as the next person and we need to remember that and hold our heads just as high as theirs! February 13 Super intense workout today and I feel good at the end of my day :)HELEN: I give myself a big A+ for today. I drank at least 90 ounces of water, had a SUPER intense workout at the gym today and my calories were around 1800. I went about 400 calories above my usual because I burned a THOUSAND calories at the gym today! :) Since TOM is here, I skipped the pool and spent just under 3 hours on the cardio machines and walking on the walking track for one mile. I started out walking and did 12 laps which is one mile, then I went to the fitness area. I rode the regular stationary bike for 20 minutes, got on the Arc Trainer (kind of like a gazelle) for 20 minutes, got on the rowing machine for 40 minutes (which I discovered does not have weights on it after all..yay!) and then the elliptical for 40 minutes then stretched before I went to the lockerroom and till my heart rate monitor showed 1000 calories burned. When I got off the elipital it was at 980 calories and the other 20 calories was during a little stretching when I was done. I haven't worked out that hard for a LONG time. My heart rate percentage average was 78-83%, at the upper limit of the target fat burning zone. I hadn't used the eliptical before today. When I first got on it I did NOT like it one bit :) But I made myself slow down, get the rhythm and once I got a feel for it I decided I like it after all. Especially the amount of calories you burn on that thing..WOW :) I'm definitely going to be a regular on the elliptical after seeing the calories burned go by so fast on that thing. I definitely know my diet is much lower in fat this week because as I learned when I tried the 1000 calorie diet, constipation struck again. Ugh. I'm going to have to up my fat intake a bit. With this hernia, I can't afford to mess it up worse by straining (sorry if TMI, but it affects how you can exercise :) and my hernia issue ). I don't normally go to the gym two days in a row, but I'm going back tomorrow. My husband wants me to drop him off at dialysis and pick him up again so we can go to dinner for Valentine's Day. So we're getting up early and after we get Evan on the school bus, I'll take Greg to dialysis and go to the gym till time for Evan to get out of school. I hope it helps the weigh in on Friday :) I say I had "about" 1800 calories because I had to bake cookies for Evan's preschool class for their valentine's day party tomorrow and I had a few cookies and some cookie dough as I was baking them and I don't know how many calories exactly that was, so I'm guessing the total for the day all in all would be around 1800, but after burning 1000 calories today I have no doubt that didn't hurt me anyway. I'm wiped out and about to go to bed here in a bit. I also successfully avoided getting on the scale today. One more day to fight the temptation to weigh in as two of my online support groups have Fridays for their weigh-ins so I definitely am getting on it on Friday. Oh please oh please, Lord, let it be super kind to me this week! :) February 12 Back on Track and a Non-Scale VictoryHELEN: Well I finally get another A day. I did brave the bitter cold weather and went to the rec center and swam a little over a mile and I beat my personal record. I swam my mile in 54 minutes as opposed to the 60 minutes I'd gotten down to last week or the week before, and when I started about 3 weeks ago it took me 75 minutes. That's all I did was swim because as I was swimming I remembered that I had an appointment in Akron with my weight loss counselor and so I finished my mile, took a shower and went to the grocery store to stock up to get through the winter storm we're in the midst of (that just started an hour or so ago now), took the groceries home and took off for Akron. I got in all my water and my calories for the day are right around 1400. Actually, I went to bed early so I wouldn't be up tempted to eat anything else, but while I was laying there trying to fall asleep my little boy started crying and I got up to check on him. I think he got cold, so I turned his heater in his room up and came in here to get online while I check the school closings and listen for him to go back to sleep as he's listening to his acquarium music toy right now. I'm kind of keeping an eye on him for an ear infection as he's prone to those after a bad cold like he's getting over now. I had a good session with my counselor and told her about my frustrations of late with the scale and how I was fighting my discouragement from getting the best of me. I agreed to not get on the scale until Fridays and I successfully avoided it today. I talked to her about the Yahoo Group I moderate called Challenged to Change (http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ChallengedtoChange/)and my role there and she was really interested in our group and what we do and asked me a lot of questions about us. But to put it in a nutshell, she wants me to make a list of NSVs and keep focused on it and adding to it and focus on the benefits I'm getting other than the scale when I stay on track. She asked me "If I were to poke a hole in you and let all that water out, how would it change things?" I said "can you? here, please do" :) Then I said "well it would show me my true weight and not water weight and help me to know if I'm really making progress or not." She said "would it change your exercise or eating plans at all?" I thought about it and said no, not really other than maybe I wouldn't get as discouraged by the number on the scale and let the gain defeat me. She said "well if you know you're doing what you need to and wouldn't change it if I were to poke a hole in you and let the water out, why let holding the water for now defeat you?" Then she asked me if I'm measured myself or seen a difference in my clothes and I admitted that yes, I was in some smaller jeans now and my inches were going down. She asked me where my water collects and I pulled my pants leg on my left leg up and showed her my leg and she said "oh yes, I can see it there". Then we were discussing my family's health problems and how I'm feeling guilty for using money to join the gym that maybe I should be using for medical bills, etc. She said "would you still have medical bills if you used that money for that in stead of the gym?" I laughed and said we would, yes. She said "Well if you really feel a burning need to feel guilty about something, redirect that guilt and feel guilty if you DON'T go to the gym and DON'T get healthier for yourself and your family. Or feel guilty if you don't get to the gym after using the money to join it." So I'm working on redirecting my issues and making them positive instead of negative. It's going to be a long process probably :) I go back the first week of March and she wants me to bring my food journals and to bring a printout of my meals focusing on any changes I've made to my eatiing from how I ate differently than my plan and to make sure to record everything I've eaten good or bad and include the times I've eaten. I tend to not journal the things I eat when I get off track like last weekend with the paczke and the brownies. Anyway..so it went well all in all. As I mentioned, we're in the midst of a winter storm right now and we're supposed to get from 6-10 inches of snow overnight and throughout the day. I looked outside a bit ago and the road is already covered and it's snowing heavily, so I'm worried about Greg having to drive to dialysis and hoping Evan's school is closed so I don't have to worry about him being out on bad roads. I'm really going to try to carry the good day I had today out through the rest of the week and pray to have good results on the scale on Friday. I keep telling myself "The only thing you have to do to make this work is control what goes in your mouth, how easy is that? Just eat what you should and then just stop. Just do it". As we all know, it can be more complicated than that, but with my bad eating last weekend, I need to tell myself to just not put any more in my mouth than I have planned and just do it. February 10 A husband on dialysis, a little boy who doesn't talk yet and finances going down the tubes. How can I put myself first in light of all that?? HELEN: I had gotten down to 283 on Jan. 22nd just to have a 9 pound gain a few days later putting me back up to 292. Obviously water weight. I've tried SO hard to not let it affect my motivation level, but it definitely has. I'd dropped back down to 287 the other day then back up to 289 this morning. I've been working out so hard and focusing so much on this and today the scale got the better of me and I caved to temptation in the form of a paczke and brownies. And as usual, now I'm beating myself up about it and trying to figure out how to get myself back on track and rid of the water weight and closer to the 270's soon. It's stressing me out so much I'm even dreaming about it. I dreamed about Bob Harper last night for crying out loud! I can do so well and be so focused and when the scale doesn't cooperate, I cave to seeking comfort from my problems (which are many...) from some type of sweets or other carbohydrates. My little boy Evan will be five next month and he does not speak yet. He initially had the diagnosis of PDDnos when he was two years old and he's had intervention with preschool and therapies since then. He's really progressed in leaps and bounds with everything but his speech which still remains the big issue. The only word I have ever heard him say was "mommmm" and that's just when he was distressed, but it's been a long time since I've heard that. His teacher meets with us at our home once a month for a home visit to go over what Evan is learning at school and she told us recently that he's doing fantastic academically. He knows his alphabet, numbers and colors and shapes and can identify most animals and things on cards they show him. He just can't talk about it yet. Right now, doctors are scratching their heads about him as he has great eye contact, not at all in a world all his own, very loving and affectionate and interested in what's going on around him, but he can't talk to interact with people yet, so he has the hand flapping thing that's his way of communicating right now. He definitely gets his point across in what he wants by taking my finger and leading me to what he wants, but I hope and pray he can speak soon so that when he's sick he can tell me what hurts. One doctor says that if he does not speak by the time he turns five (a litlte over a month from now) that he'll be diagnosed with moderate autism. Another doctor we saw a month or so ago, after examining him said "I'm telling you, I do not see autism here anymore at all. I think when I first suspected it, I jumped the gun because now I'm thinking it's just a severe language delay that will resolve itself later than most kids begin talking. We just have to wait and see when Evan decides to start talking, but I definitely don't see autism in him at all anymore." So that gave me hope, but the mixed signals from the various doctors and the fears I have of Evan's future if he doesn't begin speaking keep me stressed out a lot (on top of my worries of our finances and my husband's kidney disease/dialysis). My husband Greg is in end stage renal disease and is on kidney dialysis three times a week. He's on the transplant list and we are just like many people, playing the waiting game for his name to come to the top of the list or for a miracle to happen and a living donor to come forward to give him their kidney (I offered one of mine, but have lots of kidney stone issues as a complication of my gastric bypass surgery, so his doctors told me I'm not a candidate). So as he is disabled, and my son needs me to get him to therapies and be home to interact with his teacher for home visits and working with him to try to improve his development, I'm a stay at home mom right now, which is killing our finances. I'm seriously considering going back to work full time this Spring or Summer after I recouperate from my hernia repair/panniculectomy surgeries because we need the money. Then if I do, I have the worry of who is going to get Evan off the school van on days Greg is at the hospital having dialysis and how will I meet with his teachers and therapists if I'm at work during the day? If I take an evening job, I won't be home with Evan in the evenings when he needs me most when he's home from school and I fear it would hurt his devleopment even more. I recently found out that he's going to be in preschool again next year and will enter kindergarten when he's six due to his birthday being in March (which is good, but that gives us one more year for him to get out of school at 1:00 instead of later in the afternoon) Sigh...so LOTS of reasons to be freaked out if I let myself be (which I do from time to time I guess). It's so hard in light of my family's needs to focus on my own health and my own needs...I'm trying to pray about it more to gain strength from God to endure it all. I'm just really discouraged today, feeling guilty for BEING so discouraged, feeling weak in my motivation and trying to give myself an attitude adjustment all at the same time as trying to calm down about it all. I've been working out hard, staying on track most of the time, getting frustrated with lack of results on the scale and caving to comfort food once in a while that's definitely not helping matters any. Sigh...I was doing great before the water retention struck. Why couldn't the numbers on the scale have kept going down when I was doing so great....sigh...it's a vicious cycle :( Helen February 09 Non-Scale Victory- compliments from a young fit lifeguard :)HELEN: I worked out really hard at the rec center today and got some nice compliments from a young male lifeguard. I walked a mile on the track, rode the regular stationary bike for 15 minutes, the recumbent bike for 20 minutes and swam one mile in one hour. When I got out of the pool after swimming my mile, I was drying off and the young male lifeguard said, "You swam for an HOUR straight without stopping!" I said, "yeah, I try to get a mile in and it takes me about an hour" (in my most humble tone I could muster lol). He said "I would NEVER swim that long. WOW!". I told him "well I'm going to be having that tummy tuck in April and I want to get as much weight off as I can and get my money's worth, right?" But inside it sure felt good to hear him say that lol. It feels good to be able to show people that just because you're overweight doesn't mean you can't surprise them with how physical you can be. It's like I'm back to trying to kill the stereotypes of big people again and that feels good. I'm starting to feel more like a normal overweight person and not a super overweight person like I used to be and it feels good to be somewhat blending in now. Celebration on my 43rd BirthdayKELLEY: Celebration on my 43rd Birthday February 8th I turned 43 years old today and even though there are no big spectacular plans for the occasion, I am celebrating in my heart! I know I have written about this before but it is unbelievable what a difference a year makes! I was taken to lunch by a coworker today in celebration and was told to choose anywhere I wanted to go. I picked a nicer class restaurant downtown, as I knew I could get a good healthy meal without feeling deprivation with a nice atmosphere. I ordered a house salad with low-fat ranch and a baked potato with salsa and low-fat ranch on the side. My beverage of choice was water with lemon. On the way back I was reflecting on the fact that I was able to enjoy myself without overindulging and in the process make good food decisions that ultimately have an impact on my future. I will be starting back my workout routine on Monday after this week of TOM and am so looking forward to it. I miss it so much when I do not go. Guess I have gotten so used to the endorphin rush that when I do not have it I miss it and feel something is wrong. If you told me a year ago, I would be exercising and enjoying it, I would have told you that you had lost your mind! Yesterday, I was going up a hallway at work and a woman I am friends with was coming toward me. At the same time, a man I work with was in front of me quite a bit going the same direction as me. The woman said hey skinny minny and the man turned around and called me by name asking a question. I said I am not skinny minny yet but getting there. She said well you must be, as Mike knew whom I was talking too. Made me feel good! A friend from one of my online weight watcher support groups was on Rachel Ray yesterday. She has lost 138 pounds in a year. Bob Greene was on there and he said, "You have to tap into how much your life is different now that you've dropped that weight. It involves realizing that weight is simply a symptom. It is about living your life and giving yourself a more meaningful life every day. As long as you view it that way, that's going to keep you on the straight and narrow and continuing to live that way." That is my attitude now and will continue to be and I cannot wait to see what the next year brings! February 07 Lessons learned from ZechariahHELEN: Ok, well a better day today than the past few days. I get a B. I went to the gym and burned 600 calories walking a mile (as I watched for a stationary bike to open up), riding stationary and recumbant bikes for 45 minutes and swimming 1/2 a mile. Not as much as usual because I had to hurry and get home to get Evan off the school van, but a good steady two hour workout all in all. I think I ran a little short on my water, but I definitely went a little over my calories I had planned. Emotional eating I think, but I hope I worked it off at the gym. I got brave and wore my heart rate monitor in the pool as my friend Shelley has the same kind and told me she found out you can wear ours in water. I kept looking at it after every lap at first to make sure it was ok and it was fine (thanks Shelley lol). I got up today, got on the scale...same number it has been the past few days, still up 5 pounds from where I was last week (stubborn water retention). Ugh. Someone poke a hole in me! :) But I gave myself a good talking to and prayed a lot before leaving for and on the way to the rec center. I'm realizing that this big hump I'm trying to get over isn't going to happen in my own strength. I definitely need the Lord's help. I'm constantly learning and growing in my Christian life and learning how God talks to me. Last night I went to bed and read the Bible on my PDA before getting sleepy enough to fall asleep (as I can read that in the dark to not wake Greg up). I was reading the book of Zechariah and basically it's a vision God is showing Zechariah about how He's going to restore Israel. In chapter 2 verse 8 it says "...for whoever touches you (Israel) touches the apple of His (God's) eye." In chapter 3, it's talking about a vision Zechariah had where he saw a high priest standing before God and that Satan was standing there accusing him. It says "The LORD said to Satan, "The Lord rebuke you, Satan." and it goes on to talk about how God restored the high priest symbolic of how God is going to cleanse and restore Israel as a priestly nation. Then in chapter 4, verse 6 talks about how God is going to help restore Jerusalem and He said "not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord Almighty." These verses really stood out to me in light of what I'm dealing with about my weight right now and I know that you can read a verse in the Bible one day and get one thing out of it and another day and get something totally different out of it, depending on what you're facing in your life at the time. Anyway...what God spoke to me about this is that I am the apple of God's eye and that God wants the very best for me. If anyone (be it Satan accusing me or me making bad choices for myself) touches me, they're touching the apple of God's eye. So when I don't take care of myself, I'm not doing for myself what God would want for me. On the opposite side of the coin, many things in the life of a Christian is spiritual warfare. Sometimes when a Chrsitian has low self esteem, it's forces of evil accusing them to try to render them ineffective in their lives and boy does it work. If we get so down about ourselves, we are ineffective in every area of our lives and when we're ineffective we are no threat to the forces of evil, so they have us where they want us. So whether it be making bad choices for myself or listening to accusations that make me think I can not accomplish what I want, it's touching the apple of God's eye and not at all what God wants for me. So then when it discusses Satan accusing the high priest and God says "The Lord rebuke you", it strikes me that it's HIS power that rebukes evil and not my own. He does not say "hey high priest, rebuke Satan who is accusing you." He says "I" rebuke you, get out of here and leave my child in peace. So that reminds me that I am God's child and He wants me to come to Him asking for help and to depend on Him more to fight for me. I depend on my own strength way too much. Which is where chapter 4 comes in. It's not by my own power or might that I accomplish anything, but by the help God gives me. So anyway...it's a lesson to me as a Christian that I try to fight way too many of my battles in my own strength instead of asking for help and depending on God more to help me get through things. I'm also guilty of not asking others for help enough, I'm aware, as I'm the type that's always afraid of bothering people. Often I'll avoid calling a friend to talk for fear that I'll call at the wrong time or bother them and so I just won't call even when I love my friends dearly. It's a fear of losing people thing I think. I've lost so many friends and family to death that I don't want to lose anyone by being a pest so I don't lean on them like I probably should. But more so, I do the same thing with God. I'm always afraid that my problems are too small for Him and then I get the old tapes playing in my head that say I'm not important enough to trouble Him with my issues. I get that from a very temperamental father who would often berate me and I learned to avoid him as much as possible due to his nasty temper, so I'm transferring that to my spiritual Father too. Anyway...I know not everyone here shares my faith, but I've noticed that many of you do, so I hope that the lessons God was trying to teach me last night and this morning is something you can glean something from as well whether you have Christian beliefs or not. So I'm really going to try to lean on God more often and try to stop listening to the accusing voices that tell me my issues are too small to trouble God or the people in my life with and I'm going to try to spend more time in prayer asking for help outside myself. My motivation level is better today. I did eat a little off my plan, but really not all that far off. I'm going back to the rec center tomorrow and I can take my time as we're keeping Evan home from school again since he came home today with his nose running and coughing a lot, so Greg's going to be home with him and I can take my time at the gym. HElen February 06 Blood Sugar and Weight LossKELLEY: Blood sugar is part of everyone's body chemistry but is a concern for every minute of my day. I have been blessed that I only have to be on oral medications. At one point, I was taking a medicine for diabetes that could cause low blood sugar. Every night before bed, I would eat an Extendbar to keep my blood sugar up while I was sleeping. I was waking up many nights very sick to my stomach as my sugar had bottomed out. In came Januvia, in my opinion, the diabetes wonder drug. Away went the nightly snacking at bedtime, as it does not cause the lows. HOWEVER, as I have lost weight and my body processes the sugar more efficiently I have found that I do still experience lows at some times. One such time is after exercising vigorously as my body is pulling from the sugar sources for fueling my workouts. I have combated that by consuming a protein and carb serving about an hour before working out. The time that is really causing me problems lately is during my monthly cycle. Blood sugar always does weird things during that period of time, which is well documented. I am experiencing lows just a few hours after eating my evening meal and right before bed. I have always budgeted a few flex points for extras in the evening but Saturday was a real doozy. As I had already used some extra points I ended up with having to use 11 of my weekly points allowance of 35 for the day as my sugar was low at bedtime. The last few days I have been eating light during the day so I can have a bigger dinner with more carbs and if a low comes on, I can treat it with food without worrying about using a bunch of weekly points. Sunday I only used 3 extra points and last night 2. I am very grateful that there appears to be a light at the end of the tunnel for me in relation to my diabetes. I can and will survive all these bumps in the road and they can be managed with planning. It will be the most marvelous day when I can throw those pills away. I am looking forward to seeing my A1C test results next month at the endocrinologist. |
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